This week, Bob Meier asks Joe Brtalik and Mike Travisano, if our ability to love has limits, and what does it mean to love unconditionally? In other words, are there some people who just plain don’t deserve to be loved?
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In the episode, Mike mentions the Vice News interview of the band, Eagles of Death Metal. You can check out the interview here:
Also, Mike mentions a meditation technique that he learned in the book, Start Where You Are by Pema Chodron. Click here for a link to the book on Amazon.com.
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You guys pretty much hit the main questions I was thinking of on the topic.
What is LOVE? I think there are different degrees to love. The love for your “lover/wife”, the love toward your sister or mother, the love toward your neighbor, toward strangers, toward an enemy, etc.
If someone murdered my wife, how can I love them in any degree? Placing them in a cage(prison cell) is that some form of love? Is it about my attitude toward them? Should I be thinking that I want them to change, be reformed, and come to understand what they did was wrong?
Hate is what many would call the inverse of love. Is it Okay to HATE things/people?
If I say “I hate toxic rain”, or “I hate rapists” – it sounds logical and acceptable to say those things, right?
I try to be open to love all(in what ever degree applies) unless I otherwise have a reason to NOT love…
I like the UNITY of the LOVE you speak of in that perhaps we can shine love on the GOOD THINGS and then that is what will come to topple what we hate. IN that perhaps the love we show can be seen and “they” will want it… (they, as in the rapists etc) If we collectively can show a higher form of love, will that lead to great change?
The end point about the Beatles is what comes to mind for me often as well…
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Great episode. Each viewpoint was well-reasoned and interesting.
Mike mentioned he didn’t love the machine gun laden security at the Coliseum metro stop. I’m curious about this and wondering if perhaps I misunderstood his point. I am grateful when I see the people who are willing to take on the job of protecting others. As a foreigner in Italy, it is at first disconcerting to see their military and/or police carrying such menacing weapons, but it also makes me feel safer and I guess to a lesser degree, a certain type of love for someone who is choosing to do such a selfless and dangerous job.
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Hey akt – thanks for listening. I fear I wasn’t very good making my point – the people who “I don’t love” aren’t the security, but the people creating the need for the hightened security. – mike
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I think the challenge of loving “everyone” lies in the impact of trust on love and vice versa.
We can trust a person we do not love. We can do that by analyzing historical behavior patterns, or even putting into place a legal contract. However, to love a person that we do not trust, be it emotional mistrust or physical mistrust, is definitely challenging. I believe the relationship between those two things directly impacts our “ability” to love just anyone or everyone.
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Great conversation, guys and great follow up comments.
I want to give a plug for apathy. I think apathy, and degrees of apathy, are what keeps us sane. When I read about a ferry sinking in Bangladesh or a tornado in Kansas, that saddens me as a human being, and the love and connection I feel for those people is real, but I need to compartmentalize that and turn the page or else it will eat me up. On the flip side, I can’t dwell on the emnity I feel for the rapists and terrorists or that will eat me up in a darker way.
Can you be too apathetic? Absolutely, just like you can love too much or hate too much. All part of the human condition.
Fascinating topic and a lot of food for thought.
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Can you be too apathetic? Or can you love/hate too much? hmmm…that sounds like a really good question, 911Pinchot.
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